Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Computer Laughs!!

I was sent the following by email - it really made me laugh so I thought I would share it with you:

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!!


Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one...


Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....


Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.


Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

============== =

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.


Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.


Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...


Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?

== =============

Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars (*****).


Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.


Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.


Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?


A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."


And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.


Grumpy Old Ken said...

Absolutely brilliant. I don't feel quite so bad about my gaff now. (blog 1st Feb)

rosiero said...

Loved them. Suddenly I don't feel so bad about my own technical knowledge!

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Ken and Rosiero - it made me feel almost technically brilliant! A

cheshire wife said...

That's priceless!

There is an award for you at my place.

Dusty Spider said...

Very funny and since I used to work on an IT helpdesk, so true!! Flick xx

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Cheshire Wife and Flick - great aren't they.

Thank you Cheshire Wife.

A x

Maggie May said...

I thought I was useless at IT but feel quite knowledgeable now!

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Maggie - same here! A x

Mean Mom said...

Loved them! Cheered me up no end. I won't feel so reticent about ringing for advice, in the future. Even I am not that bad!

Denise said...

What a good laugh that is Anne, thanks for the share. We can all see the funny side of this one.

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Mean Mom and Denise - it is good to laugh isn't it. A x

Gilly said...

I laughed at it, that did me good! Thanks, Strawberry Jam Anne!

2sweetnsaxy said...

LOL! Those are too funny!

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Gilly and 2sweetnsaxy - glad you enjoyed them.

Pam at Life with our Lads liked them too and said that she had probably done the diskette one - if I'm being honest I probably have too at some time!!

A x

Jay said...

"I have the 'a', but how do I get the little circle around it?" LOL!

Thanks, I needed the laugh!

Gill - That British Woman said...

that was funny.......I don't feel quite as stupid now!!!

Gill in Canada

Winifred said...

They are brilliant. You feel much better about yourself after reading these.

The 5 stars password was amazing.

Kate said...

Fantastic - my job is support for a website and some of the problems my customers have are amazing - I'll write a book one day!

Angie said...

Just LOVE it!!! Hope you don't mind but I'm sending people to have a really good laugh.